Victory

“Yes, at last, victory is mine.”

Funny how I have said that a hundred times but even then, life seems such a failure at times. Doesn’t victory mean that you have won, undisputedly and eternally? Well not so. Seven hours into my most recent conquest, I still could not help but bask in the glory (read illusion) of my greatness.

When I dug a bit deeper into my psyche, I realised that it felt familiar. Stopping made me feel, that the thought of victory puts me on the same loop of pursuit. The repeat button was turned on, doing the same things all over again.

Nothing is cozier than to be in a bubble of success. For us, anything is better than failure, even if it means being on a treadmill all our life. Whatever kind it may be, we find a sense of purpose in victory – It completes, makes others like us, and makes us indispensable. We find the answer to our existence in it. We choose to do what is familiar- go to the same shops, eat out at the same diner or stay with the same person.

For a hurt ego, second conquests are a great escape. Not good for somebody aspiring to lead. The prize is not for the optimist or the pessimist, a realist has a good chance at it. Reliving shows us our inner pessimist; with an attempt at the optimist while sarcasm smiles from somewhere out of sight. There is sarcasm if you want to see. You do it to tell yourself that you’re finally capable; you hope you remain so, but instead you prove that you are scared of failure.